Artist: Awolnation
Song: Sail
Album: Megalithic Symphony
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Why this song is awesome:
The way Chad Kroeger screams his way through every Nickelback song makes me want to floss my ears with razorwire. But the way Awolnation does it makes me want to just put on my headphones, lie in the dark and smile. How often can you say someone screams beautifully?
Artist: The Strokes
Song: Fear of Sleep
Album: First Impressions of Earth
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Why this song is awesome:
Who can sing like he’s falling asleep and still make your mind shoot sparks? Julian Casablancas, that’s who. And sharp lines like this are exactly why:
I guess everybody’s week must have been pretty rough / Cause everybody is drunk, loud, and pissed off / I know you hate to be impressed with someone else (other than yourself) / But you know, trying to hold back on being an asshole helps
Artist: Mindless Self Indulgence
Song: Stupid MF
Album: You’ll Rebel to Anything
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Why this song is awesome:
If I had been born a 400 pound beefcake with billowing chestnut hair and a smile that could melt iceburgs, I’d have become a professional wrestler. It’d be the only sensible career choice.
My daily routine is a vivid picture in my mind. I’d wake up each morning to go to work, slipping on my golden sequined unitard, slathering myself in gold chains, and misting myself with an experimental perfume made of testosterone and steak.
As I arrive at the stadium locker room, I nod to the fellow wrestlers, Jock Jacker, Slice Matthews, and The Fluffer, and they salute me in turn. In moments, I will be destroying them in the ring.
After mentally preparing myself for a moment backstage, my theme song, Stupid MF, begins to play, and I know it’s show time.
I triple backflip into the ring while chugging a beer, which I break over the referees head as I land. Then I just start pounding faces. I play the dangerous side of me up, even throw a trick lawnmower into the crowd. And they go wild, chanting my name: Bum Rush! Bum Rush!
And then I wake up in a cold sweat, relieved it’s just a dream. Then I look down and I’m wearing a golden sequined unitard.
*gasp*
It wasn’t a dream!
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Best lyrics:
Should I talk slower / like you’re a retard? / Should I talk slower / like you’re retarded? / They think you’re dumb / I think you’re smart / No, wait, I lied / I think you’re dumb
Artist: The Dear Hunter
Song: In Cauda Venenum
Album: Act III - Life and Death
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This song makes me feel like running around and destroying things, like a caged ape. In fact, it literally turns me into a caged ape. Like werewolves do with full moons.
Oh no, my palms are sprouting fur! I’m getting a huge craving for bananas. I’m beating my chest for some reason.
Ah, I can’t stop it from ksajfdfjsj ooo ooooooo oooo EEEE OOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO EEEEEE OOOOOO
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Kickass lyrics:
In the cradle we’re helpless, but on our feet we are fatal / How we evolve and grow into twisted beasts with a desire for disorder.
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Check out another one of their great tracks, Mustard Gas, done acoustically. It shows of how intimate, but powerful Casey Crescenzo’s voice can really be.
Artist: Austra
Song: Lose It
Album: Feel It Break
I haven’t been stopped dead in my tracks by a song in a long time. This song did this for 5 repeats in a row. I just sat there, taking in that achingly beautiful voice and trying to understand what that sound was. That beautiful sound. I haven’t heard anything like it.
Just listen to these words, mixed with that soaring, gorgeous operatic voice:
Don’t wanna lose you, don’t wanna lose / Don’t wanna lose you, don’t wanna lose / I get impatient, with every word / The more you ask me, the more I’ve heard / This is a thirst that I’ve never had / I’ve never bled for another man.
Wow. I dare you not to tell everyone you know about this song.
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P.S. - They’re from Toronto. For the first time in a while, we have a band to brag about.
P.P.S. - Watch this excellent live performance from SXSW
Artist: Every Time I Die
Song: Wanderlust
Album: New Junk Aesthetic
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Why this song is awesome:
This is a song that makes both a fantastic and dreadful soundtrack to a joyride. Fantastic, because the chugging riffs spank you like a sexy nun, making your heart race like you’re going 120 mph in a school zone. Dreadful, because head-banging while driving leads to pancaked children and pets fading in your rear-view mirror.
And that’s just on a motorized cart.
Artist: Queen
Song: Don’t Stop Me Now
Album: Jazz
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Why this song is awesome:
I don’t want a funeral. They’re too sad. Instead, I plan to have my dead body dressed up like Superman and thrown out of a plane into the Atlantic. Nevertheless, if I did have a funeral this is the song that’d I’d have them play.
Freddie’s opening sentiment is so uplifting, it’s hard not to smile when I hear it:
Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time / I feel alive / and the world is turning inside out / I’m floating around in ecstasy / So don’t stop me now / ‘cause I’m havin’ a good time
These lines perfectly capture those fleeting, wonderful moments in life where you’re on top of the world and nothing can touch you. Not even death. When Freddie wrote these lyrics, he had no idea he would eventually die of AIDS. But I’m sure he appreciated how precious life was, and the only thing worth doing with it is enjoying it while you can.
That’s why when the manager of my local buffet starts to yell at me “Sir! Sir! You’ve had twelve helpings, please leave”, I just say “don’t stop me now’ and skip my ass back down to the hot plates. I’m sure that eventually they’ll have my picture up in their security office under the word ‘banned,’ but until then, I’ll keep having myself a real good time.
Artist: Mumford and Sons
Song: Sigh No More
Album: Sigh No More
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Why this song is awesome:
There’s a lot of reasons to love this song. It has one of those melodies where the voice and the words blend so perfectly that they lift you off the ground. For me though, the greatness of this song is thanks to one simple lyric:
Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you / It will set you free / To be more like the man you were made to be.
Beautiful, moving and true. This song reminds me in a very real way how important love really is. We’re the best versions of ourselves when we experience the love of another human being, aren’t we?
Artist: Fiona Apple
Song: On the Bound
Album: When the Pawn…
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Why this song is awesome:
This song has an undeniable groove. Like Stella, once she got it back. In fact, that dirty piano riff is probably how she was reunited with it.
Hell, this song almost gave me some, and I’m whiter than the Slapchop guy. But more than a groove, this song creates a sexy mood that ‘dirty’ pop stars like Christina Aguilera only wish they could.
This is the kind of sexy that transports you to a place. Some low-down, scummy part of town. Where men carry Tommy Guns, and only thing more crooked than the cops are the hookers’ teeth.
“So, boss?” rasps my partner Murdoch.
“Looks like we got ourselves a case,” I say, hanging up the phone.
“We sure do boss. We sure do.”
Like the horsemen of the apocalypse, we ride off into the foggy night, Ready for anything. Ready for…I…uh….sorry…I forgot there was anyone was here.
This song always makes my mind wander to strange places.
Best lyrics:
Baby, lay your head on my lap one more time / Tell me you belong to me / Baby say that it’s all gonna be alright / I believe that it isn’t.
Artist: Coldplay
Song: Cup of Water
Album: Prospekt’s March
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Why this song is awesome:
So I was in a band once, and we recorded an album together. It represented about 5 years of intense work, and the weeks of seeing it all come together were some of the best of my life.
It all happened up at Beach Road Studios in Goderich, Ontario, home of the legendary Siegfried Meier, producer/engineer extraordinaire. On the last night, when we had recorded the last note of the last song, we decided to get pizza for everyone. We shoot into town with the top down, staring up at a dark sky bursting with stars (me, not Sieg…he was driving and that would be dangerous). Gorgeous.
Anyway, Sieg asks me: “Have you heard this Coldplay song? It kicks ass.” I don’t normally hear “Coldplay” and “kicks ass” in the same sentence, so Sieg blasts it.
Mind blown. That chorus slams you in the face like a cinderblock dropped from a high-rise. Every time I hear it, I remember the moment like I was there, and it’s the best feeling in the world. I still wonder what makes me love it most, the song or the memories of being at Beach Road Studios.
Whatever the reason, you have to admit, this song does kick ass. At least for Coldplay ;)
Best lyrics:
The hollowest of halos / is no halo at all / Televisions selling plastic figures of leaders / saying nothing at all
I never thought of Coldplay as a political band. In fact, I always thought Chris Martin made a lot of effort never to say anything that offended anybody, anywhere. But that’s a pretty sharp, poetic political comment right there. Slow clap, Mr. Martin.
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p.s. The audio isn’t perfect, but this live performance captures the fun, epic vibe of the song really nicely. Bonus points for Chris Martin’s recovery from a coughing fit a few seconds in.
p.p.s. While I’m at it, skip to 2:30 of this video to see ‘ol Siegfried in action with a poorly tuned accordion
