Artist: Dimmu Borgir
Song: Gateways
Album: Abrahadabra
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Even if you don’t like metal, just listen to that fantastic insanity in the girl’s voice around 1:30. And the fierce guitar riffage right afterwards.
Dimmu Borgir are the closest thing to what a Castlevania: The Movie soundtrack would sound like if it were real. When I hear this song, I feel like I’m running through a burning castle with a battle-axe chopping demons and roaring like a beast.
And the melody and lyrics here are EPIC:
Be the broken or the breaker/ Be the giver or the undertaker/ Unlock and open the door/ Be the healer or the breaker/ The keys are in your hands/ Realize you are your own source of all creation/ Of your own master plan
I don’t even think English is these guys’ first language. Damn.
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Extra Credit:
Check out this great live performance of Gateways by the KORK orchestra - even if you’re not digging the crazy Norwegian Black Metal, you can probably still appreciate how intricate, exciting, and epic the orchestral arrangement is.
Artist: Kings of Leon
Song: Slow Night, So Long
Album: Aha Shake Heartbreak
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Why this song is awesome:
Before Kings of Leon had polished their sound enough to be played at Wal-Mart, they were a rough, drunken bunch of Southern womanizers. And they sounded so unlike anything out there.
Not to say they’re not still great, but there’s something special about this record. Caleb sounds like he just gargled with scotch and cigarettes, slurring barely intelligible words, voice cracking all over the place, singing fantastic lines like this:
She’s opened up just like she really knows me / I hate her face, but enjoy the company
I doubt that even Caleb himself could sing like this ever again. It’s the once in a lifetime sound of youth, booze, sex, and recklessness, wrapped up in one hell of a song.
Artist: The Black Keys
Song: Howlin’ For You
Album: Brothers
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Why this song is awesome:
“Baby, I’m howlin’ for you”
Great hook. Terrible pick up line. That’s all I’m willing to say about that.
Artist: Adele
Song: Rumor Has It
Album: 21
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Why this song is awesome:
This might as well be the official Home-wrecker’s Anthem. Just listen to this:
She, she ain’t real / She ain’t gon’ be able to love you like I will / She is a stranger / You and I have history or don’t you remember? / Sure, she’s got it all but baby is that really what you want?
Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds / She made a fool out of you and, boy, she’s bringing you down / You made my heart melt yet I’m cold to the core / But rumor has it I’m the one you’re leaving her for
I’m positive we’ve all known someone like this at one point or another. Adele absolutely nails the vengeful cattiness and devious sensuality of a jealous, man-stealing bitch. Except this time, we’re on her side.
Damn, what a song.
Artist: John Mayer
Song: Edge of Desire
Album: Battle Studies
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Why this song is awesome:
Just listen to these words:
So young and full of running / All the way to the edge of desire / Steady my breathing, silently screaming / I have to have you now
Don’t say a word, just come over and lie here with me / ‘Cause I’m just about to set fire to everything I see / I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe / There I just said it, I’m scared you’ll forget about me
Now if that doesn’t say “young love,” I don’t know what does.
Whatever your opinion of John Mayer, it’s hard to argue that this song is anything but beautiful, moving, and relatable.
Because who hasn’t been there, where you feel like the end of a relationship is the end of the world, and you’ll never recover?
I just love how no matter what I’m doing, this song can always make me stop and remember past loves, with all their highs, lows, mistakes, lessons and triumphs. And immaturity. But that was mostly on my part.
Artist: Mindless Self Indulgence
Song: Stupid MF
Album: You’ll Rebel to Anything
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Why this song is awesome:
If I had been born a 400 pound beefcake with billowing chestnut hair and a smile that could melt iceburgs, I’d have become a professional wrestler. It’d be the only sensible career choice.
My daily routine is a vivid picture in my mind. I’d wake up each morning to go to work, slipping on my golden sequined unitard, slathering myself in gold chains, and misting myself with an experimental perfume made of testosterone and steak.
As I arrive at the stadium locker room, I nod to the fellow wrestlers, Jock Jacker, Slice Matthews, and The Fluffer, and they salute me in turn. In moments, I will be destroying them in the ring.
After mentally preparing myself for a moment backstage, my theme song, Stupid MF, begins to play, and I know it’s show time.
I triple backflip into the ring while chugging a beer, which I break over the referees head as I land. Then I just start pounding faces. I play the dangerous side of me up, even throw a trick lawnmower into the crowd. And they go wild, chanting my name: Bum Rush! Bum Rush!
And then I wake up in a cold sweat, relieved it’s just a dream. Then I look down and I’m wearing a golden sequined unitard.
*gasp*
It wasn’t a dream!
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Best lyrics:
Should I talk slower / like you’re a retard? / Should I talk slower / like you’re retarded? / They think you’re dumb / I think you’re smart / No, wait, I lied / I think you’re dumb
Artist: The Dear Hunter
Song: In Cauda Venenum
Album: Act III - Life and Death
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This song makes me feel like running around and destroying things, like a caged ape. In fact, it literally turns me into a caged ape. Like werewolves do with full moons.
Oh no, my palms are sprouting fur! I’m getting a huge craving for bananas. I’m beating my chest for some reason.
Ah, I can’t stop it from ksajfdfjsj ooo ooooooo oooo EEEE OOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO EEEEEE OOOOOO
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Kickass lyrics:
In the cradle we’re helpless, but on our feet we are fatal / How we evolve and grow into twisted beasts with a desire for disorder.
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Check out another one of their great tracks, Mustard Gas, done acoustically. It shows of how intimate, but powerful Casey Crescenzo’s voice can really be.
Artist: Austra
Song: Lose It
Album: Feel It Break
I haven’t been stopped dead in my tracks by a song in a long time. This song did this for 5 repeats in a row. I just sat there, taking in that achingly beautiful voice and trying to understand what that sound was. That beautiful sound. I haven’t heard anything like it.
Just listen to these words, mixed with that soaring, gorgeous operatic voice:
Don’t wanna lose you, don’t wanna lose / Don’t wanna lose you, don’t wanna lose / I get impatient, with every word / The more you ask me, the more I’ve heard / This is a thirst that I’ve never had / I’ve never bled for another man.
Wow. I dare you not to tell everyone you know about this song.
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P.S. - They’re from Toronto. For the first time in a while, we have a band to brag about.
P.P.S. - Watch this excellent live performance from SXSW
Artist: Every Time I Die
Song: Wanderlust
Album: New Junk Aesthetic
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Why this song is awesome:
This is a song that makes both a fantastic and dreadful soundtrack to a joyride. Fantastic, because the chugging riffs spank you like a sexy nun, making your heart race like you’re going 120 mph in a school zone. Dreadful, because head-banging while driving leads to pancaked children and pets fading in your rear-view mirror.
And that’s just on a motorized cart.
Artist: Queen
Song: Don’t Stop Me Now
Album: Jazz
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Why this song is awesome:
I don’t want a funeral. They’re too sad. Instead, I plan to have my dead body dressed up like Superman and thrown out of a plane into the Atlantic. Nevertheless, if I did have a funeral this is the song that’d I’d have them play.
Freddie’s opening sentiment is so uplifting, it’s hard not to smile when I hear it:
Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time / I feel alive / and the world is turning inside out / I’m floating around in ecstasy / So don’t stop me now / ‘cause I’m havin’ a good time
These lines perfectly capture those fleeting, wonderful moments in life where you’re on top of the world and nothing can touch you. Not even death. When Freddie wrote these lyrics, he had no idea he would eventually die of AIDS. But I’m sure he appreciated how precious life was, and the only thing worth doing with it is enjoying it while you can.
That’s why when the manager of my local buffet starts to yell at me “Sir! Sir! You’ve had twelve helpings, please leave”, I just say “don’t stop me now’ and skip my ass back down to the hot plates. I’m sure that eventually they’ll have my picture up in their security office under the word ‘banned,’ but until then, I’ll keep having myself a real good time.
